July 26, 2016
Yet Another Important Update On The Ongoing Cat/Box Situation:
Somebody peed in the box.
So now nobody gets to play in the box anymore, this is why you can have nice box things, you are gross guys, etc.
Of course, the matter of WHO peed in the box is a mystery for the ages.
So many bladders, so much nonsense.
Speaking of mysteries (and nonsense), can someone tell me WTF this is?
This is in our upstairs hall linen closet. It is some sort of pushable red button up near the top shelf.
It has mystified us all ever since we moved in, although we have (SO FAR) all managed to resist the urge to PUSH THE RED BUTTON, OH GO ON PUSH IT, JUST SEEEEEEE, WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPENNNNNN? We didn't notice it during the inspection or anything and mostly forget that it's there but then I go to get some towels and I'm like guuuuuuuhhhhhwannapushwannapush.
All my Google searches for "WEIRD RED BUTTON IN CLOSET WHAT DOES IT DO" and a million other variations have turned up...um, exactly nothing helpful. My first guess was some kind of panic button, as the previous owners did install a pretty impressive security system...but it's a also a very modern one, with panic buttons on the control panels. This looks older, possibly original to the house. Perhaps a relic of a previous system? There's also no attic fan or anything else nearby that isn't controlled by a more straightforward switch, at least not anymore.
(Although we received zero information on the current security system, including HOW TO TURN IT OFF WHEN IT JUST STARTS BEEPING OVER AND OVER AND OVER FOR HOURS AND HOURS. I yanked the battery out and disconnected a bunch of random wires a few months after we moved in until it shut up. Still too scared to push the red button, though, lest I awaken some missed connection and summon the police to come rescue me from folding the fitted sheets.)
So...seriously. Does anyone have one of these in their house? What's it connected to? If I push it, what will happen? Loud noises? Office supplies from Staples showing up at our door? Absolutely nothing? Semi-relatedly, how much will someone pay me to just fuck shit up in this bitch and go press the stupid button already? Cuz I could be up for a dare.